Milestones…

This post is dedicated to my friend J, who lost her precious little boy, GG, last week.

As we go through our lives, we expect to experience certain milestones–either our own, or for our loved ones… Graduation, marriage, birth, death. In the grand scheme of things, some milestones seem to be smaller than others–first love, weight loss, the first pair of high heels–but each affects us during the course of our lives.

During the past year, I have helped to celebrate many milestones with my loved ones, and have reveled in the chance to help celebrate their happiness. After all, who doesn’t like to be happy?

This past week, however, I received some heart-breaking news: one of my dear friends, one of the strongest, most amazing women I know, lost her baby. He was 12 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days old, and passed away during a nap at daycare. I received an email from her best friend, who knew I hadn’t heard. I read the message with goosebumps, and felt like I couldn’t breathe for hours. The tears flowed and my heart broke… for her, for her little boy, for the life he didn’t get to live. I’m happy that she had the chance to have him in her life… but I know how much she has struggled in her life, and I fear that she may not be able to regain her ability to fight.

As the casket was lowered into the ground on Saturday, I watched a strong woman lose her will… She slowly shattered, lost her ability to stand. Surrounded by us–her family, her friends, but she lost her heart. He taught her to be a mother, to love openly, to be patient through every challenge, to be the best she was able to be… and he was gone. I hope, but I don’t know if our love for both her and GG can bolster her.

During these times, so many of us find it easier to shy away from the difficulty of living life, instead of facing what is difficult, uncomfortable, and sad. I hope that those people who said they will be there for her… will be–I include me in this statement. I will be there for my friend. I will do my best to help her find light in her life again.

This is a tragedy that is not necessarily mine, but has cut me to my very soul. I can’t close my eyes without seeing my friend falter as the casket was lowered into the ground. I feel her trembling in my arms as I hugged her in the ladies’ room. I feel my heart break for hers, knowing that I can’t take the pain away.  I wish I knew how to help, how to make it better… but all I can do is be there for her.

But all I say is… Enjoy every moment. Reach out to those people who you love.  Tell them that you love them. And don’t fade away when life deals them a difficult card. Be there–you have no idea how much it will be appreciated.

P.S. Many, many thanks to my friends (both IRL & on Twitter) who have reached out with kind, supportive words for my friend. And special thanks to my friends who have reached out to me with food, love, support & hugs–you all mean more to me than you know.

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3 comments on “Milestones…

  1. sukanya says:

    😦 So sorry to read about this, ABG. My thoughts are with you and your dear friend. Parents should never ever have to bury their children.

  2. CC says:

    My heartfelt condolences to you and your friend ABG…As a mother myself, I can’t begin to fathom the heartache your friend is going through at this time. Much love to you!

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